Wednesday, October 10, 2012

NFL Power Rankings (October 10)

Everyone loves power rankings, right? Ok, maybe not but it seems like more and more people are doing them, so why can't a jackass like me?

These rankings are done without looking at the standings or any statistics. I am ranking the 32 teams on my vast knowledge of the National Football League. Seriously. Let's go.

32. Jacksonville Jaguars - sometimes I forget these guys are still in the league, and if you look in the stands, I think most of Jacksonville shares that thought.

31. Cleveland Browns - this a terrible team, a terrible franchise, playing in a terrible city. I do like Trent Richardson, though.

30. Kansas City Chiefs - Tim Tebow scores more off and on the field than the mighty Chefs. Great fans looked like jabronies booing Cassel when he got hurt. Boo Romeo for not pulling him earlier.

29. Tennessee Titans - Chris Johnson....wa happened? He's done. Hate to see Matthew Hasselbeck end his career with this group.

28. Carolina Panthers - Cam Newton....wa happened? Steve Smith and Cam aren't on the same page. And their defense blows.

27. Oakland Raiders - not gonna lie. I haven't watched one second of the Raiders this season. Can't imagine they deserve to be higher than this.

26. Buffalo Bills - Ryan Fitzpatrick is a milt. A highly overpaid milt....which is the worst kind. They should unite with the Toronto Argos and form one real football team.

25. New Orleans Saints - I'm tired of hearing about Drew Brees and this franchise. Until Hurricane Katrina, this franchise was a pimple on the enormous ass of the NFL.

24. Tampa Bay Bucs - You're in good hands with Alstott! What? He retired 5 years ago? Shit. Who cares?

23. New York Jets - I've been a Mark Sanchez defender. I still believe he can be a good qb if you put quality players around. His receivers are awful. I thought a Rex Ryan team was supposed to have a great defense. I'd fire Sexy Rexy after this season.

22. Miami Dolphins - nice to see Reggie Bush excelling in South Beach. Tannehill is gonna be a solid qb for them. Cam Wake is a monster.

21. Detroit Lions - Not sold on how good Matt Stafford is. NFC North is very strong this season, so the Lions won't sniff the playoffs.

20. Dallas Cowboys - I've been a Tony Romo defender but unlike with Sanchez, I'm losing hope on Romo. Way too inconsistent. Makes a lot of poor decisions. This team has obvious talent but they're going nowhere.

19. Cincinnati Bengals - I know almost nothing about this team. Andy Dalton is a player. Do they still love signing criminals?

18. Indianapolis Colts - Suck for Luck, indeed. Tremendous comeback against the Packers. Props to Reggie Wayne for sticking around. Get well, Chuck Pagano.

17. Washington Redskins - RG3 is the real deal. Mike Shanahan is still a rat.

16. St. Louis Rams - I know they beat the Seahawks but let's be honest, Seattle is the better team. Biggest weapon is their freak kicker. It doesn't seem right that once the Rams get on opponent's side of the field, they're in fg range. Sam Bradford - big Canucks fan!

15. Denver Broncos - Eli's brother has a spaghetti arm. His balls are fluttering. What? You know what I'm saying. Not a John Fox fan at all.

14. Seattle Seahawks - oh, how you frustrate me. A top 3 defense and a bottom 3 offense. Can beat anyone at home, and lose to anyone on the road. I hope it's a short leash on RW but I'm afraid it's not.

13. Philadelphia Eagles - a couple lucky wins so far. these guys can't hold onto the ball to save their lives. Mike Vick takes better care of his dogs than he does the football (and no, I won't let it go). Playoffs or bust for Andy Reid.

12. San Diego Chargers - Norv, Norv, Norv. Remember when people thought of Phil Rivers as a borderline elite quarterback? It's true, they did!

11. Pittsburgh Steelers - these guys are getting long in the tooth and it's showing. the defense isn't as good as once was and Big Ben is fat.

10. Green Bay Packers - I know they have a crap record and are getting hit by injuries but I think they're still a playoff team and potentially dangerous. Big questions on the o-line though.

9. NY Giants - So Eli will end up having a better career than Peyton? Seems crazy. Peyton, you can keep those stats, Eli will keep the SBs.

8. Arizona Cardinals - the NFC West is all of a sudden the best division in football after being a laughing stock for the last 5 years. Cards are most impressive on the defensive side. Can they keep it up? With Kevin Kolb? No.

7. Baltimore Ravens - this seems low for them but that 9-6 "masterpiece" against the Chiefs left a sour taste in my mouth. KC ran the ball up and down the field on them. As the Iron Shiek would say "Flacco the real?"

6. Chicago Bears - Jay Cutler is a child. Their defense is still dominant and puts points on the board. I sense an ugly playoff loss for this team and Cutler crying on the sidelines.

5. Minnesota Vikings - I love what I've seen from Christian Ponder. He looked awesome against SF a couple weeks ago. Percy Harvin is having an MVP type season and I would like him on my fantasy football team.

4. Houston Texans - I know they're undefeated and two weeks ago, I thought they were the best team in the league. Didn't impress me against the Jets. Not sure the d will hold up though the season. Will get to the AFC Championship game against....

3. New England Patriots - sure, they're only 3-2 but they still have Brady and Belichick, and with those two, anything is possible. They get Hernandez back this week. Gronk is unstoppable. Running game making the difference.

2. Atlanta Falcons - A lot of playmakers. Jones, White and old man Gonzalez is still getting it done. Will be tough for any team to beat them in the dome in January.

1. San Francisco 49ers - ugh. As a Seahawks fan, this was not easy. But really, this was easy. Dominant defense, very good special teams and all of a sudden Alex Smith is not only an average NFL qb, he's a very good NFL qb. He's not a "game manager" as some believe. He is making big throws down the field to his various talented targets. Barring injury, hard to imagine anyone knocking them off on their run to the Lombardi Trophy. Harbaugh is still a prick, though.

No comments:

Post a Comment